Every victory has its dark side…

I salute our soldiers…

Not for unnecessarily harassing innocent civilians at check points…

Not for all the bribes they took…

Not for helping our government cover up the disgusting dark truth by restricting media freedom…

Not for the innocent civilians including the children they killed…

Not for raping countless women who have no homes to run to…

But I salute the fact that they left their families behind for our freedom…

I salute the fact that they put their lives at risk…

I salute the fact that they sat on mud to relish their simple meals while we sat at our tables eating our choice dish…

I salute the fact that they were at their jobs 24 hours a day while we went home at six…

I salute the fact that they marched seven days a week while we took a vacation on Poya days and long weekends…

I salute the fact that they stood on the roads for hours to check if we carried any bombs when we were on our way to parties…

I salute the fact that they were beside their colleagues as they died in their arms while we took a thrill out of watching the same thing in action movies…

I salute the fact that they were a part of something that I could never imagine being a part of…

Indeed… every victory has its dark side… but a victory is a victory…

Here’s to peace and prosperity!

I’ll do it anyway!

I’m listening to Use Somebody by Kings of Leon while waiting for the latest episode of smallville to download, and I’m browsing through photo albums on facebook, in the process of realizing that I’ve been so into my work and other stuff, been leading a life where I inevitably put my pride in front of everything else, I’m driven by ambition that sometimes I wonder weather the decisions I make in life are right. I compete with others, I compete with my friends even though they don’t know it, especially when I have the option of working with them than against them, because I want to prove to myself that I am better than them. I have achieved many things in life which I am proud of, some things where I supposedly worked as a team, but I still remember the day I was told that I am not a team player, and I defended it actually believing that I was but I realize that I was just fooling myself. I am NOT a team player and looks like I am not going to change anytime soon. Deep down inside, my heart tells me that there are certain things that I am not that great at doing, but I go public and do it anyway because my pride wants to. There are so many things in life I WANT to do and be recognized for it, and even if my heart tells me I can’t do it I will jolly well fight my heart with my MIND and do it anyway. Why? Because I want to!

The time APPROACHES where I shall HUFF AND PUFF AND BLOW THE WORLD AWAY!

Martina McBride – Anyway

You can spend your whole life building something from nothing
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway
You can chase a dream that seems so out of reach and you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

Chorus:
God is great, but sometimes life ain?t good
And when I pray it doesn?t always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway, I do it anyway

This world?s gone crazy and it?s hard to believe that tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway
You can love someone with all your heart, for all the right reasons, and in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love ?em anyway

Repeat Chorus

You can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in that tomorrow they?ll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway, sing it anyway

I sing, I dream, I love, anyway

I didn’t know how you would react…

“I even came half way to see you, but I didn’t think u’d even talk to me!” someone told me today. Made me realize how many times in my life I’ve held back things without telling people. It’s amazing how uncertainty, keeps people from opening up, being honest and figuring things out. And at this very moment I’m talking about a messed up thought that originates in our minds “I wonder how you will react?”.

If she had walked a few steps more to come talk to me, I would have spoken to her back, I would have been happy, and we would have got past certain things. And I believe that is what she wanted to accomplish. But she didn’t because uncertainty of how I will react stopped her. Just like it has stopped many of us.

Many times we have tried to go speak to our loved ones to express our true feelings, but stopped because we don’t know how he or she would react? Many times we have tried to speak to our bosses for clarification to get some work right but have not because we are uncertain of what that individual’s reaction would be. Many times we have held our opinions at meetings and brainstorming sessions because we don’t know how people will react to our ideas, and then we find someone else say the same thing you’ve been thinking about. Many times in our life we have stopped ourselves from accomplishment.

So here is what I’m trying to tell myself. “How am I going to know HOW you would react unless I find out??”

A song about periods….

Ok.. this post may probably lead to my Blog being unpopular amongst women in the future. But hey, I’m willing to take the risk. Ladies, please take no offense, every word is written in good humor.

If you have read my previous posts you already know that I work for an ad agency. But here’s something knew, I happen to handle a Brand of Sanitary Napkins, and I’ve been going through the topic of “periods” lately. It has left me several blood clots in my brain, and also made me realize how lucky I am to be a man and not go through such moments of difficulty every month.

One morning, very recently, a colleague of mine sat at my desk and started complaining about things in general. I remembered something which was told to me by my client, “If women are suddenly grumpy for no reason, they are probably having their periods”. Keeping this in mind I sang a song to her (my colleague) about periods.

The following is my tweaked version of Edwin McCain’s – These are the moments. Sung to the same tune of course.

Lying here with you

Listening to what you’re saying

Makes me feel that you’ve

Got periods today

And these are the moments

I thank god that I’m a man

And these are the moments

When I don’t have to wear a pad

I’ve got a thing I’m thankful for…

And I could not as for more…..

Looking in your eyes

I can see that you’re in pain

I can see you’re wondering when

Your nightmare will end

And these are the moments

You know his condom didn’t break

And these are the moments

I’m still able to have pleasant sex

I’ve got a think I’m thankful for

And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this thing I possess

sorry I don’t mean to sound like I’ve got PMS

But see I don’t have to pop pills regularly

Cause thank god I don’t get menstrual pains

And I don’t have to feel grumpy

I don’t have to put on a bitchy face

Coz I’m a man, and I’ve got a thing….

Oweee oweee

Yeah

Owe owe

And these are the moments

I thank god that I’m a man

And these are the moments

When I don’t have to wear a pad

I’ve got a thing I’m thankful for…

And I could not as for more…..

Yeah I could not ask for more….

Care to Interpret?

Ok… since of late I’ve been inspired by drawings, paintings and arty things. Sadly as much as I would love to be an artist, I lack the skill. Trust me I suck at it and you’ll witness proof a little further on. It’s an amazing talent to snapshot images that run through your mind that are inspired by thoughts and feelings, and just put it down on a piece of paper.

Someone very close me gave me a portrait she hand painted and I took it to office so that I can hang it up near my desk, but I just didn’t have the time because I was stuck at meetings the entire day, and mind you, today was a sucky day! Annoyingly warm and damp and argghhhh MONDAY! After the second meeting I was irritated and so not in a mood to work anymore and I didn’t know what the reason was. I badly needed to do something apart from work.

I suddenly remembered that one of the employees that used to occupy my seat left a box of cheap crayons. So I got hold of it and started scribbling on a blank piece of A4. Approximately ten minutes later I stopped. Then, after looking at what I had drawn, I was trying to figure out why I drew what I drew. I showed it to a few colleagues of mine and asked them their interpretations on what I had drawn. Instead of interpretations, I was bogged down with questions.

“Are those two dogs?”

“Is that a deer?”

“What the hell is that?”

Lol! What do you think?

Here’s what I think… It just shows what a fucked up mind I have!

Come sit with me and watch the Sunset…

Sitting on the yellow sand, leaning against a coconut tree, feeling the cool breeze brush through my hair while letting a cold shiver run down my spine, listening to the beautiful sound of the dark blue waves, I was cherishing that moment witnessing the mighty sun just about to set, and then a friend of mine walked towards me.

I said… “come, sit with me and watch the sunset”. And she replied saying “Sunset??? What?? Have you gone cuckoo???!!”.

Indeed, to her eyes I was just outside in the office garden at approximately 7.30 pm, sitting on the grassy step starring at the wall behind the trees. I said “Of course not, I’m watching the sunset”. “You’ve lost it!” was her reply. But then I went on to explain that if you convince your mind that you are in a particular situation, you are jolly well there. It’s all to do with how you psychologically get yourself there. If I convince myself that I am at the beach, if I let myself imagine feeling things I want to, like sitting on yellow sand and feeling a cold breeze, it may not be as good as being there… but I am somewhat there!

For example how many times have you been in a room, or in a vehicle or simply walking alongside a street, and a lot of things pass you by but you don’t really notice them because you are in deep thought? At that moment you are picturing what you are thinking heavily about, and what’s actually in front of you is in your subconscious. How many times have you laughed by yourself, or starred at people so hard that they felt uncomfortable, when you are actually laughing or thinking about something that happened sometime back or something you wish could happen? I suppose the term is day dreaming, but whatever it may be we have the power to let our mind take us anywhere. So whenever you feel like being somewhere you want to be, just put yourself in that place and live in that moment.

So she sat with me, and watched the sun set…

Beautifully Blind

FYI, I work in the advertising industry and have been working for this particular place for over a year. I still remember the very first time I saw this female human being in the canteen, and the moment she made her presence my eyes drew its attention to hers. She had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. Light green perfect eyes. Got me thinking she was wearing contact lenses but hello no! They were 100% natural!

Don’t get me wrong, my attraction was only towards her eyes and nothing else. She was indeed gifted with a pair of fine art. When I see something I like, I admire it. And when I admire something about someone I make it a point to let them know.

Months passed by and I got to know her a little more as a co worker. One day a colleague of mine and I had to discuss some work with her and in front of everybody I complimented her eyes. I said “Don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen”. She blushed away and people around us started agreeing with the statement I made.

And I, all deceived by her eyes was under the impression that her personality would be as nice, but sadly I was wrong. She went around boasting to people saying that people in the agency are soooo into her eyes. Few days later her theory extended to “soooo into her”. Talk about having a massive ego! I didn’t know about it until one day I was eating at the same table with a bunch of other colleagues once again at the canteen and I deliberately made an attempt to make her blush a little (I like to bug people). In front of everybody, she made a comment in such a mean manner that disgusted me. She said “My eyes are for my boyfriend only!” implying that I had a major thing for her. “FUCK YOU!” two words that ran through my mind, but for the sake of maintaining a good rapport with a co worker, I kept my mouth shut and pretended that I took it in good humour. I ask you, the extend people can go to flatter themselves.

Her eyes were beautiful indeed, but blind!

And all I wanted was a red shirt…

Red! One of the simplest of simple colours. So vibrant. So common, and liked by many! Red, in its most positive sense, is the colour for courage, strength and pioneering spirit. And you won’t believe it! This country does not have a plain red shirt on sale. Now that sucks!

I got a full black suit made for my mom’s second marriage, and of course.. in my mind I felt that it was important that I dress well and look my best, because after all.. I am the bride’s son! So I made use of the little time I had during many of my busy working days as to what kind of shirt would stand out the best. And that’s a lot of time wasted on a shirt. And then… EUREKA! It struck me.. RED! Imagine… a full black suite.. with a BRIGHT RED SHIRT and a plain black tie! sexy! I may not have the greatest fashion sense but hey.. at least it released me from a heavy burden known as “deep thought”. So I was convinced and determined to buy a red shirt.

Fortunately for me, the next day was a holiday so I began my hunt. I first headed over to Beverly Street. They didn’t have a red shirt. Nor did they have anything close to it! So I went over to Fashion bug which was just close by.. and hey! what do I find? NOTHING!

Some of us Human Beings are such that once we make up our mind about something.. we want just that! So me being one of them, I didn’t want to settle for anything less, so I continued my hunt…

I went to all the places within the vicinity including Gee Bees, House of Fashion, Nolimit, Hameedias, Thinagra, Y fashion, Romafour and all kinds of places. You name It I’ve probably been there (Except for Odel – I don’t like shopping there for clothes) in search of this shirt that started becoming a myth.

One thing I realized is the fact that all these so called Colombo fashion spots have the same brands and shirts on sale, and this country hardly offers QUALITY fashion wear and a measly RED SHIRT! It’s depressing and disappointing to not have such a simple coloured shirt on sale.

But you know, Red in the most negative aspect, is the colour of anger, violence and brutality and, interestingly, this is exactly how I feel!